02 February 2009

what goes 'round comes 'round?

6.00AM Restoran Syawal-Setiawangsa

haloo =)

back for yet another session of random ramblings about all that is right is wrong in this world. (not that it is up to me to determine all that, of course)
okay, so today let's go with another saying, what goes aroung comes aroung. and keep in mind, this has nothing to do with the song. alicia keys' methinks.
so, what does this saying mean actually? translated into malay does it mean-apa yang berpusing akan terus berpusing? (err..) or apa yang bulat kekal bulat? (okay merapu)
NO! basically, it means what you do to others, others will do unto you. so tu la orang2 tua berkata-buat jahat kat orang, nnt org buat jahat kat kita and vice versa (vice versa tu aku yang kata, nukan orang tua sbab aku x tua.)
so, treat others how you want others to treat you. (or something or other like that) of course all this shennanigans more fondly knwon as karma. yes, karma

so, let's begin with a little introduction about my (almost) nonexistent love-life. i had a relationship. once. yes, once only. maybe that's more than i will ever deserve.
anyways, long story short, she gave me her heart. did i take care of it as any good person ought to? no. and not only did i NOT take care of her heart, i broke it into pieces, ripped it to shreds and stomped on whatever was left of it.
in fact, i broke it beyond repair and i still wonder if she ever managed to pick up the pieces i left her with. yes, in my romantic drama, I am the bad guy. the jerk. the idiot.
i tend to make it look otherwise. as if i were the victim. the wronged guy. yeah right! there's no hiding from the fact that i'm the villain in this story. sorry to all those i have lead to believe otherwise.

so where does karma come into all this? well according to encik/cik/tuan/puan Karma, "ko wat cmtu kt die, so aku make sure orang wat camtu kat ko"
sedemikian kata brader karma. dan, dah ade orang buat kat aku ke blum? interesting question. 1st skali, adakah aku ade berkapel sejak kjadian itu? tidaaaaak~
walaupun ada yang hampir, tapi aku x pernah mahu sebab takut aku terbuat benda yang sama kalau2 aku berkapel lagi. i can't bear the pain i may cause to another person.
to put it short, i just don't have confidence in myself to get into another relationship. berbalik pada soalan asl, karma dah hukum aku ke belum? haaaa..mmg soalan yang menarik.
tapi jawapan yang cukup mudah. SUDAH. karma singh walia (btol ke eja nie?) dah hukum aku kot.

camne die hukum? haaa..halus je care die. nak dijadikan cerita (mmg la nak jadi cerita) aku terjumpa seseorg melalui laman web popular di kalangan remaja zaman skang yakni myspace. (oh and remember my blog bout on9 relationships? forget all that, it's bullshit)
okay, so dari kat myspace dibawa pula ke handphone masing2 (henset aku k800i saibeshot). so eventhough i didn't even know her for long (only bout half a year) i managed to feel freaking strongly for her.
of course la i never confessed cos i valued the friendship we had and was afraid that if i confessed all that would change. well, suffice to say, it all changed in the end anyway. no need to get into details.
caused some major heartache, headache and a ton of stress.
how did i feel? pretty much damned, mostly. so yeah, karma did me in. did me in good. thnx karma, now we're even okay! dont go giving me ten for every one i dish out. 

ah well, that's all for now i think. gotta get ready for class. it's already light outside. sorry blog kali ini sungguh kusam. seriously takde mood. oh yeah, i designed that story 'sempurna' to have a happy ending. but since that happy ending never happened (and not showing signs of happening), i'll just have to improvise.
we'll see how the cookie crumbles. =D 

(masih sayang? tentu sekali)


IraGiler said...

karma? i think i know who u like. since i've read this in myspace, but i am no longer hv my myspace acc.. i just jot down here. ;) chill babeyh!

life's cruel (to the person who wants it to be).

si penangkap mimpi said...

i've linked ur blog to mine..:)
im wondering.
adakah acak itu juga nama yang mnja?:Pp

mij0ohAns said...

hey~izhar laaa..
aku pn linked ur blog to mine k..
hope u ok with that..=)