05 February 2012

'What You Need To Know Before Getting an iPhone' for Malaysian Dummies

before you proceed, know that this post was written in angst. why? because some people are idiots who keep giving away their hard-earned money to liars and cheaters. this angers me. this post was written with the objective of educating those idiots. if they ever get to read it anyways. you shall pass. 

so....if you're here and reading this, i can deduce that you fall into one of the below categories

1. iphone owner
2. iphone hater
3. interested in acquiring an iphone
4. android owner
5. just plain fucking bored. 

love it. hate it. adore it. loathe it. the iphone is without doubt the most advanced smartphone on the planet. at least one for consumer use. anyways, this post is not about flaming android or bb fanboys. let's move on

so the story begins when handsome old me went to acompany my friend to get le new iphone 4s at the Mines. hes already got a Samsung S2 but wants to get the 4s. why? because it's better, that's why. soo.. knowing nothing about the iphone, he decided to consult the expert, which is where i come in. LOL. 

i'm not gonna tell you what we did every step of the way because that's the Twitter junkies and Facebook 'hotties' job. I'll just get right down to the point. here's my observation. 

1. outside shops (those not associated with telcos; Digi, Maxis etc, sell at a higher price. not that much higher. but enough to make you cringe. from what i remember: the 4s 16gb costs rm2.5k from outside shops compared to rm2.1k with Digi and Maxis. 

2. Telcos sell the phone at a lower price. My theory? being retail shops owned by the big boys, they can't exactly set ther harga sukahati. but shopkeepers, being shopkeepers (i was gonna say Chinese but that would be racist would it not?) would want to MAXIMIZE profits. no no not the telcos profit. their own personal profit. how do they do it? they will charge you for all the stupid things like Jailbreaking, the oh-so-fancy bumper case, and the so-called-antivirus. 

so how does this work? okay, the actual money that goes to the telco is only the 2.1k you pay for the phone. the rest; jailbreaking and whatever 'extras' they give you goes into their own pockets. for example, my friend paid a grand total of rm3k for the phone plus 'goodies'. 

so you might be thinking : so what the fuck is wrong? they got to earn a living as well. 
let me tell you whats wrong. whats wrong is that so many idiots fail to actually do some stupidly simple research before actually buying something that sets them back a few thousand. i mean, how stupid are you my fellow people? if you actually bothered to do some research, you would inevitably discover that, Jailbreaking is FREE and that there are no such things such as iPhone viruses. 

jailbreaking an iphone is no rocket science. you dont even have to know any programming or hacking. a group of people dedicated to exploiting loopholes in the iphone OS do it all for you and create the software and you only need to download. and..they don't charge anything for it. it's totally free! you can donate to them if you want, but donate or not, you can still download their stuff. i've heard of idiots in Malaysia paying from rm50 to rm300 for jailbreak. i mean, seriously? you charge people 300 bucks for something you got for free!? talk about untung atas angin

next, Antivirus? for the iPhone? what a bunch of bullcrap. so i asked the dude, what antivirus? he proceeded to sput some bullshit about how he was gonna change the ICCID of the phone so it wont hang and bla bla bla.. wanna know what the ICCID is? me dunno. what i do know is that it has nothing to do with the phone hanging. it's the sim serial number or something. try taking out your sim and the ICCID changes to 'NO SIM'. for god's sake, even my 3gs doesn't hang. and you're saying the 4s needs an antivirus to prevent hanging? this dude was gonna charge 70bucks for it. this is even worse than jailbreaking. he charges rm70 for doing absolutely nothing. and, sigh, lots of people still fall for it.

 so if you're planning on getting an iphone. i believe there are 4 models still out in the market (used/new) the 3g, 3gs, 4 ,4s. i would strongly advise against buying the 3g. (just in case you come across it in mudah.my or anything). the 3g came out sometime in 2007 -2008 (not sure) so if you do get one, it'll be really old. that plus the fact that it's really slow. much too slow to do anything. you tap today, the phone responds tomorrow. lol

3g / 3gs

the 3gs is similar in shape to the 3g. but it has an improved processor. needless to say, it''s fast(er). the camera is nothing to be proud of (3mp tops) but it does its job well. i've been using the 3gs for almost two years and i'm quite happy with it. you could get one (used, of course) for around rm1000 max. anything more and theyre overcharging you. 

the i4 sports a new shape. sleeker. squarer. same processor. better camera. led flash. and the high-res screen. they say, it has a higher res than the human eye. so they say. there should be tons of 14's in the market now that the 4s is out. max i'd be willing to pay for an i4 is rm1.5k. anything more than that and you should just get a brand new 4s. 

4/ 4s

the 4s is the latest addition to the family. identical in appearance to the i4. changes in some parts. better camera. (way better). the first in the family to use the A5 processor. has SIRI (your very own personal assistant). 

imo, if you're thinking of getting an iphone 4s, remember that it is exactly the same as the i4 except for a bette camera and SIRI. so if you dont really take pictures and wont talk to SIRI i sugeest getting the i4. or if you're low on budget or just want an iphone, try searching for a 3gs. whatever you do, please dont get a 3g. you'll regret it for the rest of your young life. 

OR, we could all wait for the iphone5. since Apple seems to be dishing out new model every 10 to 12 months, waiting wont be such a pain. 

fan concept.

oh an another thing i forgot to mention. i phone repairs. yeah we've all had that, cracked screen. broken home button. bla bla bla. let me remind you that the iphone is assembled in China. it says so right on the back of the damn phones. sooo... ALL iphone components come from China. except the motherboard. not so sure. anyways, all these people that repair iphones get their parts from China for dirt-cheap prices. and how much do they charge for repairs? A FUCKING FORTUNE. that's how much. a simple home flex button replacement could set you back 100 bucks. how much does the home flex button cost? not even rm5. and these people buy in bulk, which makes the thingy even cheaper. how do i know? unlike some people, i do my research. a while back, i shattered the screen. so i googled the parts. the pric was rather shocking. cos it was sooo cheap. but it all came from china of course. in the end, i found a dude who would repair it at a cheap price. changing the screen and battery with him only set me back rm200. 

the price of the iphone itself makes it rather daunting but if you know your way around, the internal workings of the iphone is the damn simplest thing. if you know how to use a screwdriver, you can change anything by yourself. provided you have the parts you wanna replace. don't believe me? go on youtube and search for "how to change iphone battery" or "how to replace iphone screen" for example. you'll see how simple it is. if i had the money and market, i'd set up my own business repairing the iphone at a cheap price. 

so.. finally, tips!

1. if you want to get an iphone. just the phone without telco contract or anything, i strongly suggest you get it from apple directly. you gice them your credit card they ship you your phone. no middle man, no added charges. 

2. if you doo get the phone from local vendors, they'll sweet talk you into giving them even more money for jailbreaking, antivirus bla bla bla services. they'll say like, kalau jailbreak ada sekali pakej you dapat housing ni free. well tell them one thing. FUCK OFF! the amount you pay for the jailbreak is already triple the price of the damn housing. you go back home and you do it yourself. or find a friend who knows how to do it. i've jailbroken tonnes of my friends phones and i dont charge one single cent. another thing they might tell you is "kalau you jailbreak sendiri kami tak bagi warranty. kalau rosak tak bole tukar" well tell them again FUCK YOU. because they do the exact same thing even if they jailbreak it. when jailbreaking, if you run into any problems, just restore the phone and no one will ever be able to tell whether it's been jailbroken. even Apple cant tell if their users have jailbroken their phones after restore. ini kan pulak kau. 

NO! i dont want your fucking jailbreak

3. even if you do decide to have them jailbreak for you. DON'T! JUST DON'T!! after that they'll just fill you phone with stupid junk you dont even need and dont even know how to use. that's just the thing, they charge you like crazy, then don't even teach you the basics you need to know. after i jailbreak my friends phones, i teach them at least the very basics. where to download apps. where to get tweaks. how to sync with itunes among others. 

4. if you are STUPID OR DUMB, please refrain from using the iphone. i have experience of noobs constantly coming back to me whining about some shit thing they can't do on their phones. can't download games boo hoo hoo! can't register for itunes boo hooo hoo! i can't help you everytime you noob piece of shit go figure it out. Google ada apa guna? its free damnit! of course vendors would be happy to help you. for a price. yes, vendors will charge you for every little problem you bring to them. they'll make up some shit story about the 'seriousness' of the problem and squezee you wallet dry. that is why i kindly ask people of the above category to refrain from using the iphone. it's for your own good!

so as a conclusion, there is no conclusion -_- i purposely wrote this almost fully english. if you don/t understand what i've been rambling about and have absolutely no idea what this post is about, the iPhone is definitely not for you. maybe the Galaxy S2 would be a better choice. goodluck with/buying your iPhones :) and tell your friends who are thinking of buying iphones to read this shit so they don't get squeezed dry of every. single. cent. 

disclaimer: 1)facts regarding pricing in the above post may be incorrect or outdated. i shall accept no responsibility for mistakes arising from your own mistake of taking my facts as-is. do your research people. seriously, it's the age of the internet. 2)honest businesspeople DO exist. but you'd have better luck of finding Hogwarts.